you won't sleep better alone

yesterday was pretty chill.
it was nice being able to leave my bags in my car at school
instead of carrying them around all day.
i took a nap in my car too :)
i should come better prepared though.
i need to pack some pillows and blankets in that bad boy.

i wonder if i'll be able to do that in my yaris
when i get it.

uugghh :(
these past couple of days haven't been so great.
it's nice being able to drive and everything
but i just feel so lonely sometimes :(

i want to feel like i don't need to go back to Danny
but sometimes i just miss him so much.
i called him last night because it was bothering me so much
that i wasn't talking to him.
he didn't pick up, but he called me at around 2 a.m.
i didn't pick up because i was asleep and i missed the call.
oh well.

:(
i really miss him sometimes though.
i mean, 4 years is a really long time to be with someone
and i just can't seem to let go.
i fight it soo much on the inside but i can't do anything about it anymore.
it's like i'm at the half-way point...
i want to go back because it's safe there and because it's what i'm familiar with
...and because he loves me :(
but i don't want to go back because there is nothing waiting for me in that relationship.
not right now anyway.
ohhh lord :( :(
i miss him tremendously though.
it's so tough to deal with sometimes.
and sometimes i just want to cry and cry about it.

:(
well i have work at 2 today
and then a hair cut at 8.
i wonder if i should call him.
oh lord.



toodle oooh